My truth as it hurts

   Today I found myself dealing with emotional shit. Like life shit that should not bother you but it does. Writing in my Truth Dairy I found myself expressing my feeling with life.

  So, I'm going to share a little of my Truth Dairy which is why haven't the father of my kids haven't pop the question. Yup, why haven't he since we have three kids and one on the way. Been together about ten years. Dealing with his bullshit and sticking by him through good and bad. So, I question myself when I left to move to the mountains. He loved me but some how I was falling apart. Him not popping the question made me step a couple of steps back.
  He say he wants to be stable before he just pop the question. Ha, I laugh when people say they want to be stable but somehow they slip in this maze of  LA LA LA land where when things get good they forget about what there plans were.
   The truth is I'm not waiting but moving towards something better.  ( I;m not talking about relationships)
   Finishing college to starting a new career and moving out in my own place. I'm going to not have the father of my kids to move in with me because I don't want to do that. I want to be married and let him know I deserve respect and I'm a good woman that deserve to be happy. If he can't do it for me, it's ok because I know Yah have someone out there just for me.


  Blah Blah enough with that emotional stuff but 31 weeks pregangt almost 32 which is on sunday I'm getting closer to my date that I throw in the towel and told my manager I was going to take off by June 18th to get ready for the baby. I figure I save as much as I can since UNPAID MATERNITY LEAVE and focus more on my pregancy and get ready for the baby.  Plus I have three other kids I have to make sure I spend time with until the day comes.
   Walking a lot and working about three maybe 5 days is starting to get to me.  early cramps that I need to take it easy which is hard to as I have mouths to feed and I'm so greatful for my parents help.

  So life is kind of ruff but it's only for a season. ( Thats what I keep telling myself) Plus, I ain't going to lie, it will get ruff later as I will be trying to juggle more.

  My truth