a few words....more to come

 There is so much I want to talk about but I can't hit on each point right now. Tonight as it is almost 11pm I want to say my eyes have been some what open.
  It hurts as I know things are not always going to go as plan. I have to make decisions I don't want to regardless what the other person thinks.
  Over all I have learned my life can be better. It's what I put in it and what I put out. Tonight I might just cry to let out anger and a uneasy mind. I have came to this point in my life where I have no where to go. I have dreams but they never seem to go my way. I have made plans but things never go my way.( Why make them?) I'm rushing things but I can't seem to stay a float.  Beside getting a glass of wine I'm going to just lay in my bed to think.
  Think about how many people I hear about having cancer to marriage. They all are falling apart to one lady said " My relatives said this is the biggest wedding you are going to have but the next one is not going to be like this but less" something like in those terms but they are already saying it's going to fail as most marriages do. They are lucky if they pass 2 years.
 For me I'm just tired and selfish with my kids. I want to make sure everything is right the way I want them to be when there father is around I want  him to basically do it my way but I know it can't be like that. I'm struggling with relationship to kids and work to where I need a pause button.
  You see whoever is reading thins, remember go forward in life. You life might feel shity or be shity but remember it's what you make it. What you do with what YAh gave you.
  Tomorrow I'm going to change somethings. I'm going to actually wake up early to get ready and do what I usually do....get shit done.
    Coming July I want to achieve some of my goals and be a new me.




My Journey My Life