up and down
My journey has been up and down. I can barely wrap my mind around my life. I try to look at it if it's okay. When I say Okay it makes me feel better to where I am almost there where I need to be. In my case I feel like I am far from it.
First I have moved out my parents house and I seem to not really live over there. I thought my dad need to use my car but I guess not and I already set plans to just stay here but now I want to go home. Even at home I feel like I'm not really wanted. My bf I guess I can call him that still seems to be whatever. We talk but it feels like we are just a old couple and we are not even married. ( I'm sure you can picture that) of course argue now and then (he thinks I might run off in someone else. arms...or I'm not happy with him) So going home is okay but I still have no space to just be me.
very sad I must say.
Second, trying to figure out how I'm going to balance the kids school and working and taking care of a toddler and make sure everyone is happy. This time I have no break because I don't get to drop off my kids and leave early to wait for my kids after school or just talk to a grown up that get's it. Alright I said more then I thought but overall my kids are going to do great and they want to do homeschooling. We all are going to give it a shot and go for it. Plus they can always go back to regular school if they don't like it.
Third, I found out my life is sad and great at the same time. I have no idea what I am doing with my life but living. Been trying to get everything right but been failing. This picture I see in my mind will not come to pass. People that I love and know seem to be living life and it's great but maybe it's not.
Looking at Instagram and Facebook like everyone got it together but they probably don't. Just maybe someone is drowning like I AM and trying to get the F up.
Yes, life sucks sometimes but I keep going. I cry it out and keep going.
no one is happy until they actually live. That's what I forget pass these couple of months, to live.
My Journey My Life
First I have moved out my parents house and I seem to not really live over there. I thought my dad need to use my car but I guess not and I already set plans to just stay here but now I want to go home. Even at home I feel like I'm not really wanted. My bf I guess I can call him that still seems to be whatever. We talk but it feels like we are just a old couple and we are not even married. ( I'm sure you can picture that) of course argue now and then (he thinks I might run off in someone else. arms...or I'm not happy with him) So going home is okay but I still have no space to just be me.
very sad I must say.
Second, trying to figure out how I'm going to balance the kids school and working and taking care of a toddler and make sure everyone is happy. This time I have no break because I don't get to drop off my kids and leave early to wait for my kids after school or just talk to a grown up that get's it. Alright I said more then I thought but overall my kids are going to do great and they want to do homeschooling. We all are going to give it a shot and go for it. Plus they can always go back to regular school if they don't like it.
Third, I found out my life is sad and great at the same time. I have no idea what I am doing with my life but living. Been trying to get everything right but been failing. This picture I see in my mind will not come to pass. People that I love and know seem to be living life and it's great but maybe it's not.
Looking at Instagram and Facebook like everyone got it together but they probably don't. Just maybe someone is drowning like I AM and trying to get the F up.
Yes, life sucks sometimes but I keep going. I cry it out and keep going.
no one is happy until they actually live. That's what I forget pass these couple of months, to live.
My Journey My Life
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