Almost 34

 You know that feeling where you just feel trap. No where to go. Like, everyone life is moving but yours. That is how I am feeling. I am moving but I have no one to move with. I wasted 2019-2020 with someone that wasted my time and energy. It sucks tell you the truth. Starting over during a pandamic is like searching for a soulmate in a glass bottle. having kids doesn't help much. Living with my parents can somewhat be...not ideal. 

  I will be 34 years old soon. 8 months not counting the end of April. Single mom with four kids. No college education but one certificate in Dental front office and Excel (which by the way I haven't use for a while.) Knowing I will be 34 soon and never been married. Never actually date anyone different  for years.( I guess I should have gave a chance to other people then I got back with my ex. or just left)  Bonding with a person on a different level seems to be not in my cards at the moment. I wonder what Yah has plan for me. Tell you the truth "It's pretty lonely around theses times and age.  

  knowing I will be 34 sooner then I think, I am rethinking life. My mom is sick which I know I will have to be here to take care of her. How do I balance life and find true love?

  That is the question out of all of this. will there be true love for me. Will I find it later down the line where the kids are older. My mom gone not to celebrate with me.  

  oh how angry I am. Time has pass and there were no wedding bells or no happy ending. As I struggle to find myself in this crazy world. Find myself trying to live life. Remember to enjoy it. I know I will wonder somedays where did I go wrong. 

My Journey My Life