Life Sucks!!!!

Life sucks at this moment. First off I found myself losing myself slowly as I work hard and trying to make everyone happy. I realize I was not making myself happy. Second, I had to move back in with my parents. You see I can go buy a car or go get a place. I have not chosen yet but I need both bad as I want to have my own space. I never really got to enjoy my space I did have as it was to far from my parents house and going back and forth sucked. The biggest of it all was  me paying rent but I never enjoyed it. My fault as I let people get in my ear. If you learn something from me, please don't waste money or time on things that you are not going to comment to or even stay at. 

  Back to my sob life. I know people have to move back in with their parents but who else don't have a choice to and have to deal with....well....LIFE?

   I'm 32 years old and I finally moved out my parents house in 2019 but did I really move out? I guess I didn't pick the right place. I thought homeschooling would make things more easier as I can work more hours. I was wrong as I didn't balance that out but my mom was there to help. I was very grateful but I could have done more.  Now homeschooling is up in the air. I can but I would need daycare or someone to watch the kids as I work. There dad could but he would have to work around my schedule. 

  You see my life is all mixed up. I want to cry at times but I push harder. I want to give up but what is the point since your problems still will be there. 

   I'm just going to love people from a distance. Try and get some space from people. find a job still and fucking cry. Learn how to not care and do what I feel is write. I guess I'm tired of living life how people want to see me as. Work hard but never not goof enough. I'm still searching for my happiness.

   Right now it's far far away. 

My Journey My Life