My Life... almost 36 weeks ( This is what I'm going through)
My tears feel tonight as I feel overwhelmed. Counting every dollar to seeing if a bill has been covered by my health insurance that it is driving me crazy. I'm tired of dealing with it that I want to scream at them. Now I have to take time out early in the morning. Calling on the dot at 8am in the morning just to make sure this bill is cleared up before I give birth. Which by the way I had to call twice about that this third time it needs to be handle or tell me the statues of where they are at with getting it process. I sure don't want to have to deal with it after birth as well.
I'm tired and frustrated with life right now I can barely take it all in. Screaming at the top of my lungs will help as tears fall down my cheeks. Is that possible? yes it is if I scream in a pillow. I know my fiances are going to be tight as I have no choice but to go back to work by 12 weeks but I might go sooner then that. It sucks so much but I have to get money coming in if I want to start school again which is not cheap. Being piled up in debt after school is something I don't want to have so I'm paying out of pocket with each class which is A LOT of money. Asking my parents for help is not a option of mines when it comes to school. I want to and need to do it myself. If I pay for it I know it will be my own money I mess over.
Oh yeah on top of everything my dad is telling me about this work that pays well where he does security at. I should diffidently apply there. Telling me how much you get paid and if you work past noon you get more. It's like " I get it. I need to get a real JOB that pays well with benefits.)
I feel drain like my life is over but I can't think like that but sometimes I due because I feel like I'm out of options that I sit in my room and cry all by myself.
I still need to pay for my kids childcare which I will due next week. I got the kids in school but I need to apply for lunch assistant for them. Just in case and it will wave the tech fee.
I have not yet to have the main little things I need to get baby girl and myself after birth that I want to cry. I'm holding it in right now but it's so hard.
Being only 35 weeks almost 36 weeks pregnant I'm stressing with things I wish I didn't have to deal with on my own. I can't even get child support yet since the father isn't working yet. I sure don't want to tell my parents everything about him especially my father.
This is the icing on the cake my mom asked me "Why would you have a baby by the same person. Like I don't get it." And on and on she went as I felt terrible even more that I wanted to just scream at her and tell her she will never understand because you never had to deal with the shit I had to deal with. Trying my hardest to keep my family together to loving him but he never seem to understand the pain.
Plus having your children want both of there parents made it hard to completely get him out my life.
AHHHHHHH
WHY WHY WHY WHY!!!!!!!
Now I have to take a breather and breathe for a second.
Okay I did
Now I have to deal with kids still and I have no idea how I'm going to deal with leaving my new born baby early just to head back to work and getting back to my regular routine. Dropping kids off to school, making sure baby has everything ready for grandma to pumping at work to do it over and over. Seeing about school that this stresses me out as I have to plan every little thing by myself as I like for things to go just right as I know it won't.
being a single mom of four with a new born baby. Going back to school and working seems so much that I can barely prep my mind around it of for it.I can barely wrap my mind about giving birth soon.
My life My journey
I'm tired and frustrated with life right now I can barely take it all in. Screaming at the top of my lungs will help as tears fall down my cheeks. Is that possible? yes it is if I scream in a pillow. I know my fiances are going to be tight as I have no choice but to go back to work by 12 weeks but I might go sooner then that. It sucks so much but I have to get money coming in if I want to start school again which is not cheap. Being piled up in debt after school is something I don't want to have so I'm paying out of pocket with each class which is A LOT of money. Asking my parents for help is not a option of mines when it comes to school. I want to and need to do it myself. If I pay for it I know it will be my own money I mess over.
Oh yeah on top of everything my dad is telling me about this work that pays well where he does security at. I should diffidently apply there. Telling me how much you get paid and if you work past noon you get more. It's like " I get it. I need to get a real JOB that pays well with benefits.)
I feel drain like my life is over but I can't think like that but sometimes I due because I feel like I'm out of options that I sit in my room and cry all by myself.
I still need to pay for my kids childcare which I will due next week. I got the kids in school but I need to apply for lunch assistant for them. Just in case and it will wave the tech fee.
I have not yet to have the main little things I need to get baby girl and myself after birth that I want to cry. I'm holding it in right now but it's so hard.
Being only 35 weeks almost 36 weeks pregnant I'm stressing with things I wish I didn't have to deal with on my own. I can't even get child support yet since the father isn't working yet. I sure don't want to tell my parents everything about him especially my father.
This is the icing on the cake my mom asked me "Why would you have a baby by the same person. Like I don't get it." And on and on she went as I felt terrible even more that I wanted to just scream at her and tell her she will never understand because you never had to deal with the shit I had to deal with. Trying my hardest to keep my family together to loving him but he never seem to understand the pain.
Plus having your children want both of there parents made it hard to completely get him out my life.
AHHHHHHH
WHY WHY WHY WHY!!!!!!!
Now I have to take a breather and breathe for a second.
Okay I did
Now I have to deal with kids still and I have no idea how I'm going to deal with leaving my new born baby early just to head back to work and getting back to my regular routine. Dropping kids off to school, making sure baby has everything ready for grandma to pumping at work to do it over and over. Seeing about school that this stresses me out as I have to plan every little thing by myself as I like for things to go just right as I know it won't.
being a single mom of four with a new born baby. Going back to school and working seems so much that I can barely prep my mind around it of for it.I can barely wrap my mind about giving birth soon.
My life My journey
Comments
Post a Comment