Finding the right words....

  Finding the right words on how I am feeling is hard to write. My mind is full of anger, sadness and disappointment . I don't take things well at times. 

  Being all alone doesn't help. I don't reach out to people because...I guess I don't want to hear I told you so. Or just plan old negative things. I find my way to coupe with things but somedays are harder then others. 

   Having all this shit happen right now in the world makes it tough to keep going but I have to. When all of this is over I have to have something to look forward to. 

   I have been talking to Yah a lot and Yashua but I wonder at times if I bother them to much? I'm sure they have more important things to do then listen to me and whinnying  about life or just talk. A simple conversation as I wait for them to answer me which they do at times. Specially right on time. 

   Finding friends I could do but will they ever understand me or leave me like most people do. Some don't but I don't want them all in my bubble. Some are lucky to have those special people right by them. I guess I'm not one of the lucky ones. Trust me if you are not, you find away to deal and keep moving. Life is full of possibility right? I hope I am right because everyone deserve to be happy. 

   This time, there is no meeting anyone by accident but more of social distance yourself from the whole world. Who you know is who you  know. You might get a glance once in a while but care less and keep on moving like I do. 

  I am better silent then talking to. I guess it's better to not speak and keep moving while I am out and about getting groceries or running errands that need to be done. 

    why waist a conversation with people. The sad truth is, the might die. Maybe not and you will wave back at them after this is over and say " Ahh you made it" with a grind on you face. 

I don't know. Life is unknown and my journey is defiantly unknown. I want to plan things but I ask myself why a lot. Then  I try to figure out where I should go from here but nothing is there as are country is basically trying to hang on to dear life.

  Life, that's right. 

I'm going to end it here as it only makes me cry to think of nothing is coming next for me right now. But only letting go of the old shit in my life.  

My Journey My Life