A lonely life?

 I have been back for a while as this has almost been a week back on social media. If you don't know what I'm talking about then go back to my last blog, that will tell you all. Let's get started. I have learn a lot past these weeks. How terrible I have zero friends. But I would say I didn't expect this one person to check up on me. She did as I was like what? I have meet her on this social mom app. She is cool as all the moms are. I gave her my number to chat and hopefully do a talk on YouTube. She check up on me besides my family. That being said it was a eye opener. 

   I realize number one, no body cares if you are alive. They would check to see if you still are. Number two, he tell yourself you will be fine. You don't need to see a therapist. In reality you just want someone to talk to besides yourself. And Number three I ask myself where do I go from here? 

 These are simple questions I asked myself and think about The last one i have no idea. I sit in my room now and then to just think where am I going? I have nowhere to go because 2020 is the most shitty year I have every been in or experience. If this year is shitty then 2021 might just be the top of the icing . 

  How can I tell my readers how my year been going down every since I step foot in this year. Here you go, it was like a dam explosion went off and it was madness I tell you madness. I guess finding a small job to do something would help me. Tell you the truth, when I actually think about it, it probably won't that much as it still won't be the hours I want. It would allow me to get out but still only 2 hours? That's when I started to debate about my life.

  College seems to be out the case right now. maybe next year I hope or just pray really Hard to see where Yah takes me. 

  I don't want to talk about this subject or think about it. But I have to get it off my mind. I'm at the crossroads as I wait. I wait patiently to see what will happen in my life next month. I'm tired as I have no idea where my life will be if things don't get better with my mom. If things do get better that will be exciting news but I still have to figure out what to do next alone. 

That is all I'm going to say about that.

Then there is me just being alone. I have to except it. Maybe if I do life will go easy. I don't want to settle for less as there is nothing there for me. 

  Yes it sucks but my life is on hold. My dreams will never come to light. It is just how destiny is. 

Don't worry about me, I will be happy one way or another.