Tonight at 10:20pm
Only 10:20pm and praying that Zariyah doesn't wake up again as she did the last couple of hours me trying to put her to sleep while I try to get things done before I lay my head down. Instead I found myself washing clothes, cleaning up a little to ironing out the kids school clothes with her by my side. I even try in between to rock her to sleep but that only did so little as she woke right back up.
Now she is laying in her bed quite but still moving, I want to cry as I hope she doesn't cry for me to get her out. I'm exhausted as I did take a nap with her but my kids seem to still be loud as my parents watch them that my nap really wasn't a nap. It was more of me watching her sleep plus it was hot to day and windy.
Waking up really early today doesn't really help through out the day.
I found myself trying to figure out this whole mommy baby thing again. This time I have extras as well. Keeping up with my kids school work to making sure I get things done before I go back to work which I'm not that thrilled to but at least I can work 2 or 3 days out the week and I will be able to find another later.
Looking over at the crib I have no choice but to get her. I wish I have a light up toy that sings songs. My nipples are sore from breastfeeding, I'm tired of washing clothes that I can't wait until the last loud is done. I wanted to read some but that will be on hold for tomorrow I hope.
Me sleeping again for about 4 hours at least maybe 5, I'm starting to get use to but I miss sleep and can't wait until I get her on a sleep schedule later down the line.
I'm trying so hard not to whine but man it's so hard doing this all by myself. I want sleep but my little one wants me at certain times that my mom calls my name. My breast pump I hope comes soon through the mail by tomorrow or Wednesday so I can start pumping and get her use to bottles.
Trying to type here she is smiling at me as I never thought this day will come again and it has and WOW I love her.
I guess all the hard work I'm putting in my sleepless nights and doing what I have to do, is all worth it. I have to stay positive and get through everyday. And of course lots of praying.
I better get back to finishing laundry and trying to put her back to sleep. If not I will be going to bed around 11or 12which gives be about 5 or 6 hours of sleep. Really less since I have to feed her and diaper change.
Now she is laying in her bed quite but still moving, I want to cry as I hope she doesn't cry for me to get her out. I'm exhausted as I did take a nap with her but my kids seem to still be loud as my parents watch them that my nap really wasn't a nap. It was more of me watching her sleep plus it was hot to day and windy.
Waking up really early today doesn't really help through out the day.
I found myself trying to figure out this whole mommy baby thing again. This time I have extras as well. Keeping up with my kids school work to making sure I get things done before I go back to work which I'm not that thrilled to but at least I can work 2 or 3 days out the week and I will be able to find another later.
Looking over at the crib I have no choice but to get her. I wish I have a light up toy that sings songs. My nipples are sore from breastfeeding, I'm tired of washing clothes that I can't wait until the last loud is done. I wanted to read some but that will be on hold for tomorrow I hope.
Me sleeping again for about 4 hours at least maybe 5, I'm starting to get use to but I miss sleep and can't wait until I get her on a sleep schedule later down the line.
I'm trying so hard not to whine but man it's so hard doing this all by myself. I want sleep but my little one wants me at certain times that my mom calls my name. My breast pump I hope comes soon through the mail by tomorrow or Wednesday so I can start pumping and get her use to bottles.
Trying to type here she is smiling at me as I never thought this day will come again and it has and WOW I love her.
I guess all the hard work I'm putting in my sleepless nights and doing what I have to do, is all worth it. I have to stay positive and get through everyday. And of course lots of praying.
I better get back to finishing laundry and trying to put her back to sleep. If not I will be going to bed around 11or 12which gives be about 5 or 6 hours of sleep. Really less since I have to feed her and diaper change.
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