My first step

 Today I cried. I couldn't help but cry after I left home to go to work. It actually helped as I let it all out. I stayed busy as that helped. I put on smile eventhough I felt like shit it helped. My brother checked on me which I was grateful for. I read different messages at work as I try to stay focus but I cried.
  Taking a moment I cried
Talking to the other kids grandpa I even realize it's not his fault his son is the way he is. We all are responsible for are actions when we reach a certain age. We grow and learn from every mistake we make but eventually we grow up.
   I came home knowing I would cook as I was ready. I needed to keep busy but my mom did. I even wash the dishes which is not normal. I just found myself doing things to keep me busy.
  Getting a drink after work on Tuesday I will do as I need one.
It's the end of the day and well I got to see the super blood wolf moon which was cool. That was exciting as it was. I loved and took a picture. I should have camp out back of my yard. hahah...but I love to go out at night to smell the fresh air.
  Over all today was better then yesterday. Tomorrow is another day and I will keep praying and all the pain will go away.

My first step was letting go and it hurt



My Journey My Life