38 weeks update

     38 weeks ad 3 days, I'm soaking in everything I can to give natural birth as I watch as many videos as I can to coup with the pain. I haven't done this in like 5 years which I hope I can be strong all the way through. I'm worried since I don't have my partner with me to help me through the pain and encourage me all the way through, I pray and hope everything goes well and I can handle the pain that's ahead for me.
   Unsure if I can really do the squat position, I have to try it anyways as I know I can do the sitting position at the end and have her here in my arms.
  Am I nervous ? Yes.
Can I handle the pain? I hope I can do it again
Are you worried? Not trying to be but whoever isn't. I just want to be able to handle the pain.

  Maybe these might be question people might ask you or family but mines, no. They figure once you had one you got the other one and the other one but that's not always true for all of us. Everyone is a experience and pushing naturally is something I had to develop with my third child.
  Yes I will cry. Yes I will scream and yes I will be in pain. Towards the end as her head comes out, I know it will burn and I know it won't be easy so I have to practice mentally and visually for what to come soon.
  The exercise I'm doing for Yoga as I'm getting ready for birth help. If I did it every day maybe she would be here or I would be close in the labor and delivery room waiting to see her.
  So my appointment went well as I was dilated 2 centimeters. Last week I was 1 centimeters and now 2.
To keep things going I will have to keep being active which I will walk some more up and down my stairs. do my yoga and dance. Yes, dance my baby down to where I can get things going.
    We shall see next week if I'm going to have my baby girl in my hand or just wait and be patient. I know she will come when she is ready. It shall be soon.