How I was feeling before I had my princess
The sun is finally low as I can sit outside with out it beaming on me as it is blazing hot and unable to breath. trying to relax as I enjoy the breeze hoping my children understand that mommy can only stay out here only for a certain amount of time.
I really just wanted to breath in the nature and get some fresh air as I was basically in the house all day and everyday since there is nothing to really to do. When you are on unpaid maternity leave and there is no money coming in, your budget is low. You have to make sure you make smart decisions. Waiting for her to show up is not helping as my 12 week maternity leave seems to be turning into a a 6 weeks or less since she isn't here yet. Not like things are going to progress anytime soon it feels. I'm basically at home all day doing nothing as I try to be patient with this baby. But of course doctors want things to start moving.
I'm kind of ready for my next appointment which they will talk about being induce and what to expect and all. Set a date to where I feel like I'm rushing her but then again she haven't came yet and she will but I don;t know anymore. I will be 42 weeks in the beginning of August which I will be induce but I hope it start on naturally as I try to clear my mind from it.
Being bored is not helping and a hot summer sure isn't helping me go for walks. I even think I have reach my max of weight I wanted to be. I weigh about 218 pounds now. Not what I wanted nor thought I would be near that size. I know work was hard on me but I wish I held out until the end of June but it's ok I didn't.
I'm feeling the pressure as pain arise now and then. My body aches at night that I can barely sleep well. I just really want her to come so I can get things moving with my life. I know that sounds unreal and I should enjoy her as much as I can but how can I when I'm the bread of the house. Unsure if the father is going to send money. Even if he say he will, I'm still unsure but it is what it is. Talking to him can be stressful since I feel like he needs to take on more responsibility but he found a good job as he did ask about transferring if he needed to. It doesn't matter as I will take on this task of giving birth and taking care of her after without him. He doesn't see that nor understand that I believe.
School is coming up for the kids which I'm not even ready for. You know getting the school supplies, new shoes and going back to school night where they will meet there teachers and put there supplies away plus school pictures. I didn't see that coming at all. So August is crazy which I thought the baby would been here by now so I could be ready for the kids in August towards the end. That will change a little but I'm going to drop them off of there first day of school which I will be excited for and tired. New born baby and all.
I have so many things that are going on in my mind that I can barely prepare for as she is still cooking in my stomach. I know she will come soon, before I know it.
Instead of waiting I'm trying to get somethings done without hurting myself. Like changing the covers off my bed ( My mom thinks that's to much for me to do), washing clothes ( My mom freaks out if I bring the clothes down to the laundry mate in the house. She want me to ask my sons to help even though it's not heavy), put the car seat in the car, see how that fit and possibly just vacuum a little.
I never had to wait this long for a baby to come out as I didn't do anything with my first one where I waited and got everything ready. I was waiting to hit his due date as that never came since he came when I was 39 weeks I believe or 38 but still it was never this long. I never really kept count as they always gave me a packet of each week I was in to where I can read information on it and what to expect.
As I wait trying to deal with everything all at once as I would love to have a spouse with me. Dealing with things I should be sharing with, not my parents. I always have to take a breath and tell myself everything will be ok and things will get better.
Somethings are on my mind as I wait for this baby to come out. Time is ticking.
I really just wanted to breath in the nature and get some fresh air as I was basically in the house all day and everyday since there is nothing to really to do. When you are on unpaid maternity leave and there is no money coming in, your budget is low. You have to make sure you make smart decisions. Waiting for her to show up is not helping as my 12 week maternity leave seems to be turning into a a 6 weeks or less since she isn't here yet. Not like things are going to progress anytime soon it feels. I'm basically at home all day doing nothing as I try to be patient with this baby. But of course doctors want things to start moving.
I'm kind of ready for my next appointment which they will talk about being induce and what to expect and all. Set a date to where I feel like I'm rushing her but then again she haven't came yet and she will but I don;t know anymore. I will be 42 weeks in the beginning of August which I will be induce but I hope it start on naturally as I try to clear my mind from it.
Being bored is not helping and a hot summer sure isn't helping me go for walks. I even think I have reach my max of weight I wanted to be. I weigh about 218 pounds now. Not what I wanted nor thought I would be near that size. I know work was hard on me but I wish I held out until the end of June but it's ok I didn't.
I'm feeling the pressure as pain arise now and then. My body aches at night that I can barely sleep well. I just really want her to come so I can get things moving with my life. I know that sounds unreal and I should enjoy her as much as I can but how can I when I'm the bread of the house. Unsure if the father is going to send money. Even if he say he will, I'm still unsure but it is what it is. Talking to him can be stressful since I feel like he needs to take on more responsibility but he found a good job as he did ask about transferring if he needed to. It doesn't matter as I will take on this task of giving birth and taking care of her after without him. He doesn't see that nor understand that I believe.
School is coming up for the kids which I'm not even ready for. You know getting the school supplies, new shoes and going back to school night where they will meet there teachers and put there supplies away plus school pictures. I didn't see that coming at all. So August is crazy which I thought the baby would been here by now so I could be ready for the kids in August towards the end. That will change a little but I'm going to drop them off of there first day of school which I will be excited for and tired. New born baby and all.
I have so many things that are going on in my mind that I can barely prepare for as she is still cooking in my stomach. I know she will come soon, before I know it.
Instead of waiting I'm trying to get somethings done without hurting myself. Like changing the covers off my bed ( My mom thinks that's to much for me to do), washing clothes ( My mom freaks out if I bring the clothes down to the laundry mate in the house. She want me to ask my sons to help even though it's not heavy), put the car seat in the car, see how that fit and possibly just vacuum a little.
I never had to wait this long for a baby to come out as I didn't do anything with my first one where I waited and got everything ready. I was waiting to hit his due date as that never came since he came when I was 39 weeks I believe or 38 but still it was never this long. I never really kept count as they always gave me a packet of each week I was in to where I can read information on it and what to expect.
As I wait trying to deal with everything all at once as I would love to have a spouse with me. Dealing with things I should be sharing with, not my parents. I always have to take a breath and tell myself everything will be ok and things will get better.
Somethings are on my mind as I wait for this baby to come out. Time is ticking.
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